Wednesday, May 21, 2008

You Only Get What You Give

I believe in the loose definition of karma (I'm not going to go into all the religious ideas). I believe you reap what you sow to a great extent; "what goes around, comes around", and all that jazz.
So the best way to get what you want in life is to give it. If it sounds too easy, it is. Let me explain.

Often people will complain their boyfriend doesn't buy them flowers and they really want flowers. Now there are a number of things you can do. 1) You can buy them for yourself (you look special walking home with them, they look exactly the same once in the vase and you get exactly the type you want). 2) You can ask for them (very simple and effective!). Or 3) you can give them to someone first. Ok, I admit it sounds odd, but it's a nice thing to do.

First off, I should mention that I believe the spirit is giving is about not expecting anything back. That's a true gift. You give it because you wanted to and expect ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in return. But sometimes, you can throw gifts to the universe just to see what happens. Why not? It can't hurt.

So instead of sulking and saying, "I want, I want, I want! I NEVER get!", why not go out and give? For those in heterosexual partnerships, you're probably saying, "what? Buy my MAN flowers??!! No way!". Honestly though, forget all that. I've given many men flowers and they all appreciated them because they all thought the gesture was nice. I know of at least one occasion where a blue rose ended up dead, dry and on the floor, but he kept it. Maybe he only kept it to make me happy, but even that is still a great and kind gesture.

You will feel better giving than receiving. I promise. You'll probably also notice a lot of other nice things start coming your way. When you spend your time giving, you'll have a lot less time to sit and ruminate about how much you're missing and not getting. So if nothing else, give because it takes your mind to a better place.

Now you're probably thinking, "but I want a new car! How can I give a new car so I can get one? This is ridiculous!". Hang on!
I admit, you probably can't physically give a new car in order to get one. Yes, that is a ridiculous idea. But what can you give instead that can eventually lead you to be able to buy a new car?
Can you give a few extra hours at work? (It's not quite giving because you'd be getting paid, but you're giving your time up, which is one of the most valuable things you can give anyone)
Can you give up smoking/drinking? How about giving up that daily expensive large non-fat mocca expresso with Splenda® drink? Or the gym membership you're not using? Yes it takes time and patience, but eventually you'll have given enough that you'll get what you want.

If you really "want, want, want!" so bad, then you can focus and give, give, give until you get.
It's that simple :)


Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Just Ask For What You Want

I drove a truck tonight. Well, just the cabin part, not with a trailer hookup. But still. It was cool.
It was something I've always wanted to do.

You know how I got to do that? I just asked.

This seems to be a little known secret and I was reminded it's a secret by reading The Last Lecture (good book, made me bawl like a baby at the end, but great book). People don't ask for what they want enough.

How do you think I got "Mr. Felix and Mr. Norton" to be my business mentor? I asked. (I asked him because I love his cookies and because Peter McAuslan never replied to me, so I had to ask a second person. Third in line was the owner of Dagwoods)

How do you think I got myself on tv? I asked.

Got into the newspaper? I asked nicely.

The secret is to ask sincerely and don't expect too much. Also, don't worry about the answer. Sometimes you'll get a "no" but it doesn't mean you shouldn't ask. Maybe you just need to ask someone else. Or ask again. Most of the time, you'll get a "yes". Especially if you give them a reason for why you want whatever you're asking for. The biggest secret I'm sharing? If you tell them it's something you've always wanted to do or that it would make you happy, you have a better chance of a positive result. Why? Because people want to make other people happy. They want to feel like they played a part in fulfilling a dream. Sometimes, they even need you to ask - it was exactly what *they* needed (especially in the case of tv and print, they always need material). So everyone wins!

Also, I have a rule where I don't ask the same person the same favour more than twice. Often people who don't want to do something will say they are busy or forgot. If they forgot twice, they never wanted to do it in the first place and are trying to be "nice". I'd much rather a straight no, but whatever.

People who *want* to help you but can't will point you in the direction of someone who can. And often they'll be nice enough to talk to that person for you.

I'm also kinda against asking celebrities for anything because they are so often bothered. If they're at an autograph session, it's ok. If they're wandering around looking for a place to eat in a food court (like Scott Thompson was when I was working at Quiznos), I leave them alone...reluctantly. *sigh*

This also does not mean that you sit on your ass and don't work for what you want. Sometimes you have to work to show you deserve it. There was a joke I heard of a man, who each night prayed to God, asking to win the lottery. Finally, one night God answered exasperated, "then please buy a ticket!".

Anyways, it sounds like I'm lecturing now, but people are always asking me how I do things and saying I'm "lucky" or I must "know people" to get what I want. I consider myself lucky after I've gotten what I wanted and I know the right people after I've introduced myself. It's that simple. Really.